Perhaps over the holidays you’ll be around family members who regularly behave in ways that annoy you. Maybe you’ll see people who mistreated you. You don’t want to fall into an old sinkhole and not know how to climb back to the freedom in Christ you’ve found this year!

My family of origin, circa 1968: six people I love and hope to gather with this Thanksgiving!

If you’ve been through UNBOUND prayer, you’ve declared people and their actions forgiven in Jesus’ name. You’ve renounced the patterns you responded with that were influenced by unclean spirits. Unclean spirits, unhealthy habits, harmful words that you once took to heart, and lies you used to believe—these were commanded out of you with authority in Jesus’ name. You gave thanks, were blessed, and had new truths proclaimed to reinforce your identity in Christ and as a child of the Father. Hopefully, you left feeling loved and much freer and closer to God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

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I’ve just returned from over three weeks in Florida with my parents and sister during a medical crisis. During that stressful time, I backslid into a spiritually unhealthy pattern, so I have some thoughts to share with you!

I’m an UNBOUND prayer leader, and I’ve been set free in Christ in increments. The first time came through deliverance prayer before I learned of Unbound. It healed my relationship with a daughter and loosened my perfectionism and need for other people’s approval. Later I was set free through an Unbound session, after forgiving very deep hurts I’d buried for a decade. Then at a Freedom in Christ Conference, I profoundly experienced the heart of the Father.

During those weeks in Florida I was grateful to be able to help. I enjoyed seeing loved ones, watching baseball with my Dad like I did as a kid, praying with both parents, faith-sharing with my Mom, and all that. However, I saw myself falling into old snares, including:

• extreme attempts at people-pleasing, approval-seeking, and criticism-avoidance;
• fear of reprimands and of not being good enough, and repeating the lie that “I can’t do anything right;”
• judgmentalism (received and rendered);
• taking refusals of my offers of help as rejection;
• being under the illusion that I had some control;
• self-accusation, self-criticism, self-justification, and self-absorption; and
• not living in the present but buying into guilt, regrets, worry, fear, obsessive thinking, and insomnia.

My usual Quiet Time was eroded, I got no real exercise, and only briefly did I pray with a 5 Keys Prayer Card like the ones we give out after UNBOUND sessions. I was very aware of my sinfulness, yet I knew the struggle could also help others if I grew from it and shared it honestly.

Here are the 7 steps that got me out of the sinkhole:

1. Journaling: I wrote about my thoughts and feelings, what triggered me, what I didn’t like, and what worried me. I concluded that my responses were a sign to me that my freedom is fragile and needs T.L.C. I also put myself in other people’s shoes and wrote how I thought they were feeling during the tough time we shared, since everyone was dealing with shock and stress.
2. Spiritual Reading: Once home, I caught up on daily readings I’d missed, liturgical and devotional. Jesus Always (by Sarah Young) reminded me not to attach my sense of worth to my performance. What others think of me is really none of my business, because only God sees us as we truly are—far from perfect but radiantly clothed in God’s perfect righteousness. In addition, because we’re precious to the Lord who delights in us, we should refuse to condemn ourselves. When you’re dissatisfied with something you’ve said or done, this book says, talk to Jesus and ask him to sort out what is truly sinful and needs to be confessed. Also, since pride is a deadly sin, it suggests that being humbled is a blessing.
3. Conversational Prayer: Repentance and statements of faith, in my own words, were followed by asking for help taking my thoughts captive to Christ and increasing my desire and discipline for more time in God’s Presence. Listening, I heard (once again) that Jesus delights in setting us free, and the Holy Spirit helped me list everything I needed to confess and renounce.
4. 5 Keys Prayer: Having completed Key #1 (repentance and faith), I worked my way through out-loud declarations of forgiveness of everyone and everything I’d journalled or identified (Key #2), including self-forgiveness (the hardest part for me). I then renounced out loud all the unclean spirits and lies on the list from my Conversational Prayer time (Key #3). I commanded them out in the name of Jesus (Key #4). And I prayed a Father’s Blessing (Key #5) and my daily novena to the Holy Spirit. At this point, I again felt free, thanks be to God, but I had more to do to.
5. Additional Reading and Reflection on Relationships: I read and took notes from a booklet I got on a retreat, Elf-help for Dealing with Difficult People, by Lisa O. Englehardt, illustrated by R W. Alley. This gave me some practical ideas, along with The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict by The Arbinger Institute—a fabulous book on how to improve all your relationships by honoring your own sense of what’s right and seeing others as persons like yourself, with needs, wants, and feelings, rather than as “objects.” After all this, I focused on how to make better choices “next time” to get out of mindsets that are not loving others as myself. I grew in compassion and identified how I contributed to upsetting situations. I resolved to be more understanding, loving, and honoring next time, so as to have a heart at peace and a clearer conscience.
6. Sacraments: I made an appointment and received Reconciliation and went to a nice, quiet daily Mass.
7. Gratitude: I thanked God for the circumstances that diminished my pride, for we are to give thanks always and for everything. I thanked God that my imperfect performance reminds me that I’m a wounded catalyst for the Lord’s healing and deliverance. I thank the Mighty One who is so awesome that my failings won’t hamper God’s plans to set believers free. And I give thanks because as I was in the midst of that spiritual battle, I saw it for what it was and knew that Christ had already won the victory for us!

How might the 5 Keys Prayer Card or these steps help keep the THANKS and the MERRY in your holidays?