424.IAM.FREE (424.426.3733) unbound@5keystofreedom.com
5 Looks at Your Life  . . . And What You Wish It Included

5 Looks at Your Life . . . And What You Wish It Included

My husband in the experimental garden at Stone Barns, site of the Foods for Tomorrow conference we just attended.

The past ten days have been full of heart-to-heart happenings that reinforce my decision to celebrate creativity and to help other women transition to more creative living. Yesterday I loved connecting in person with creative women who came to my Sea Ranch home for a mini-retreat where we experientially addressed creativity, matters of faith, and fear as a disruptor of the creative process. On the East Coast last week I considered my call to creative living vis-à-vis five events, any one of which could spark energy for change.

 

What East Coast Experiences Persuaded Me?

  • Being with friends I’ve known for decades, hearing their stories, and explaining what I do . . . for the first time since my “transition” to authentic, Holy Spirit-directed, creative living;
  • Attending a conference with committed individuals who share a passion to work for better food policies affecting present and future generations;
  • Celebrating my mother’s birthday and reflecting on how it’s never too late to live out one’s special calling;
  • Stumbling upon an impressive obituary capsulizing the 96-year life of a  female pioneer and philanthropist in the art and publishing world, whose life reflects her curiosity and the consistent desires of her heart; and
  • Attending my husband’s Harvard 40th Reunion, where a symposium of successful Radcliffe women, while reflecting on their careers, families, and what it all meant, and also revealed their struggles and hopes for the future in light of what matters most.

The Effect of Sharing with Friends

We had dinner with a couple my husband’s known since their teens. The wife is a powerful doctor with major administrative responsibilities for multiple hospitals. Though she and her husband recently bought their dream house in the country and have an apartment they love in Manhattan, she hardly gets to either home. She’s grappling with whether to go for a promotion and work exceedingly hard for another 3 or 4 years, to stay where she is (with no time for a life outside work or even time to take vacation days she’ll lose by not taking them in 2015), or to possibly retire now at 62, which is an affordable but apparently unlikely option for them. She’s sure she’d have plenty to do without her job: postponed reading, sewing, and a creative pursuit in woodworking, which she’s longed to undertake for decades. She’s given all she has for patients and employees her whole career, frequently neglecting self-care in the process. I admire her dedication and contributions to medicine and society, and I feel sad at all she and her husband have given up for it. They’re expecting a first grandchild soon and do plan to figure out how to take care of him one day a week!

We met with a college friend of mine who started a new job in finance at age 61, at the same time his wife went into real estate, a field that had long intrigued her. These later-in-life jobs have opened up new adventures for them. After several trips to supervise service providers who report to him from Bangalore, Joe’s discovered a love of India. He appeared energized, vigorous, and full of his longstanding good humor and faith. Another couple is retired and busy with travel including a recent pilgrimage to the Holy Land, helping out and spending time with their large family including seven grandchildren under six, and they’re actively involved in multiple ministries. I helped them load their Suburban full of food so Wendy could go feed dinner at a homeless shelter they support after dropping me at the airport.

With all these friends, I felt good sharing what I’m up to, glad to have moved on from my over-achieving career days to a gentler creativity and ministry-focused life. I felt free to talk about my relationship with God in connection with how I spend my days — something I’d formerly have kept to myself. I felt natural, relaxed, and authentic — a nice change from my former self! I really related to each of these friends and how much we look for meaning and gratitude and ponder all this at our current ages.

The New York Times Food for Tomorrow Conference

I’ve been fascinated with nutrition since I had my first child 30 years ago, and this conference was a tasty treat and a mind-stretcher! Mark Bittman, Michael Moss, Dean Ornish, Paul Krugman, Steve Case, farmers, chefs, doctors, policymakers, scientists, innovators, entrepreneurs, professors, philanthropists, politicians, animal welfare activists, sustainability experts . . . these were just a few of the speakers! We learned that 30% of all food grown in this country goes to waste, while people are undernourished and good food is often unaffordable. To drive this point home, award-winning chef and author Dan Barger served us delicious and definitely innovative breakfasts, lunches, and dinner made from food waste such as bruised fruits, oddly shaped vegetables, apple and carrot peels, the foamy water from cooking chickpeas, polenta made from the corn usually fed to cattle, and a bit of goat meat. Although the focus was food, environment, health, access, and education, what grabbed me throughout were the coming together of people dedicated with passion and creativity to working for the betterment of individuals and society, now and into the future. I’m inspired to make some important changes.

Celebrating the Triumphs of Other Women Aging Gracefully

Three women’s stories have given me inspiration and hope recently. Kathie Brady had dabbled in many an art form over the years and this year found a new one that seems to truly celebrate who she is as a loving, relationship-oriented artist and woman of strong faith! You can read a short excerpt of her story in my blog post,  Can You Imagine Your Compost Pile as Creative?

Last week my Mom celebrated a birthday, less than a month after my husband and I got to host her and my dad for a nice visit in San Francisco. You can read a short tribute to her stewardship of gifts of hospitality, creativity, generosity, and evangelization in my blog post, Never Too Late for You to Live Out Your Calling.

On the plane to New York, I happened upon the not particularly prominent October 17, 2015, obituary of someone I’d never heard of but was duly impressed with: Irma Giustino Weiss, who died at 96.  The New York Times column noted that Ms. Weiss was a witty, caring “yea-sayer to life” who cared deeply about human rights as well as art, architecture, and cultural enrichment. As I read the obit, I could so easily see the common artistic, vibrant, generous thread through all she did—from where and what she studied as a young woman (Art at The Cooper Union), the jobs she held and awards she won (first female in the Art Department of Triangle Publications, two Art Director Awards for work at Ziff Davis Publishing, and Creative Director at Conde Nast Publications), the type of marriage she enjoyed (“a magical marriage, whose romance never ended”), the students (of art and architecture), causes (helping the less fortunate experience the artistic, theatrical, and cultural treasures of New York City), the institutions she supported (Cooper Union and the Whitney Museum), plus the attitudes and style she is described as bringing to it all.

Kathie, Mom, and Irma, thanks for the inspiration!

Radcliffe Women Debating Whether Women Who Graduated in the 70s Really Could “Have It All”

A panel of 1975 grads re-asked the burning Gloria Steinem-inspired question of their college years—Can Women Have It All? Interestingly, “have it all” seemed to imply “have all that successful men have traditionally had.” I have so much to say about what I heard and how my heart responded that I’m going to save this for my next blog post. Stay tuned! Or, if you want to jump into the conversation this topic suggests, feel free to comment or email me right away. I’d love to hear whatever you’d like to share on the topic!

In the meantime . . .

Look At Your Life and Ask

 

When you notice good ideas, how do you catch them?

When you notice good ideas, how do you catch them?

Ideas bubbling upIntriguing ideas arise in both mundane and extraordinary times—some as you slosh through everyday activities, others when you’re on a cherished artist’s date at a museum or play, or even while watching 4th of July fireworks! All month I’ve been posting reminders to pay attention to the inspiration that’s all around. Today I’d like to mention ways to catch and save the ideas that bubble up. Thinking ahead is key. Decide whether you’ll jot them onto sticky notes, index cards, or recycled paper . . .  and where you’ll put those for later retrieval. Invent a system for when you’ll do so. I hate to admit how many good ideas I’ve found crumbled on the back of a faded receipt at the bottom of a purse when I finally got around to changing bags!

Recently, I’ve been capturing more ideas on my iPhone and/or in Evernote by dictating, photographing, or sending myself an email. Mentally walk through your day and plan how you’ll capture ideas place-by-place and activity-by-activity: in the middle of the night, during prayer or meditation, in the kitchen or the shower, on walks or in the garden, on the phone, at church, while decluttering, swimming, working out in an exercise class, playing with children, or listening to an audiobook or teleclass in the car.** I’m sure you can think of other challenging places to take notes!

You can't stop to take notes when this is 5' from the side of your car!

You can’t stop to take notes when this is five feet from the side of your car!

**The asterisks remind me to ask you for suggestions on that one!  I often drive hours along a winding coastline and there’s no shoulder where you can pull over to jot down a note or take your cellphone out of the glove compartment. So please comment with any good suggestions for this scenario. So far, my only attempts have been: (a) to pause the recording, repeat the idea over and over to myself, or make it into a jingle and sing it repeatedly until I think it’s sunk in (and there’s a 50/50 chance it hasn’t); or (b) to replay the recording. I might need to get a simple voice-activated recording device to hang around my neck, sensitive enough to pick up my voice but not the car’s speakers!

Once you’ve got a workable capture system, you’re apt to notice or be presented with more ideas than ever! Consider starting a physical idea repository — a folder, journal, shoebox, inbox — or an electronic folder or app. In love to journal during my Quiet Time. I put a little circle in the margin next to any idea that comes to me then that’s either an action to be added to my planner or an idea that should go into an Evernote notebook. Once I’ve handled the idea, I put a slash through the circle.

I keep a separate Art Journal for visual ideas, which I also take with me to workshops and art critique groups, and sometimes when I know I’ll have time to sit and sketch, doodle, or noodle on keywords or concepts for a new quilt. This is an area where I’ve been better at paying attention than I have in some other areas. I also paste photos or sketches or what I’ve ripped from magazines. Consider where you pay attention best, where you might benefit from paying more attention; then try to learn from what works . . . and modify what doesn’t.

Abstract. Colorful fireworks of various colors isolated on white background.

Happy Fourth of July!

Also, you might make it a regular practice to express your gratitude for what God has gifted you with through your spirit, your body, your mind, and all the moments when you are present and noticing things. Also, let’s all pray that we not take anything for granted. May we all tap into the wonder and awe of the life and creation in which we live, and move, and have our being. Gratitude, wonder, and awe are the best kind of paying attention!

 

Join me on Facebook in July; we’ll be focusing on the creativity-enhancing notions of Imagination and Innovation.

On July 22, 2015, I’ll be hosting a one-afternoon “micro-retreat” for creative Christian women in Sea Ranch, California. Email me if you’re nearby and would like details and feel free to share this with other local Christian creative women!

Guarding Against Overwhelm

Guarding Against Overwhelm

Permission - Do Not DisturbAs May comes to a close, let’s give thanks for the protection we’ve received and the protective tools we’ve become aware of, as well as the energy, spirit, and/or armor of God that helps keep us aligned with our sacred creative calling. As the month ends, let’s carry the awareness of this “bodyguard” or protective energy forward with us. It can serve us well for years to come.

And in this final May 2015 post, let’s look at a powerful way to guard against the common obstacle of overwhelm, which is probably the most common form of self-sabotage. Sometimes we (and that includes me) can sabotage our (my) own creative successes by taking on too much at once. The resulting feeling of overwhelming stress easily leads to avoidance, not knowing where to start, a seemingly insurmountable hill to climb, creative paralysis, or doing nothing well because we’re spread too thin.

When this happens, PROCLAIM and PRAY! Proclaim (that is, state boldly out loud or in writing) whatever permission you need to give yourself: permission to let your light shine, permission to express what the Lord’s given you to express, permission to take time to complete one task at a time, or even permission to create a sanctuary of creativity time and space by putting a “Do Not Disturb” sign on your door, literally or figuratively. Pray for the Holy Spirit to encourage you to pursue your creative passion, to fulfill your call to creative greatness, or to simply bless someone with the creative work you are gifted, equipped, and prompted to do. Pray for the Spirit to open the doors He wants opened to keep you in the center of God’s perfect will and to close the doors He wants closed. Accept and trust in that guidance.

Proclaiming permission to pursue your creativity and praying for the Spirit’s guidance will help you stay on your creative path. Put your whole heart into fulfilling your calling. You’re made in the image of the Great Creator, so it’s so natural for you to love, to create, and to fulfill your personal assignment in the Kingdom of God. Go for it with passion.

Coming in June: Paying Attention to Inspiration All Around.

Tune Up Your Time Mastery

Tune Up Your Time Mastery

I’ve been thinking about time. I’m starting to actually believe there’s enough time for every good thing in my life, including relaxation! This change from not-enough-time to plenty-of-time thinking is an especially well timed, as I’m just finishing up a working vacation in Mexico, following a 4-day retreat!

 

This surprisingly positive thinking seems influenced by four realizations:

  1. Letting go of compulsive perfectionism makes us better;
  2. Patience is easier when the pressure is off;
  3. We don’t have to figure out all our time management issues on our own; and
  4. The help we get reduces stress!

 

When it comes to perfectionism, I find it helpful to embrace the 80-20 rule — that 20% of effort produces 80% of results. For years, I’ve seen this principle applied to everything from economics and tax policy to email management. Nevertheless, I’ve too often ignored it in my life, spending inordinate amounts of time trying to perform every task as if it were a final exam, even striving for 100% on life’s metaphorical pop quizzes! Lowering my standards to 80% on 80% of what I do — that is, reducing my perfectionism while still allowing for excellence where it’s important — means more time for more good things! It also means energy isn’t drained by relentless striving. Devoting the saved time to play or relaxation can also make focused time yield even better rewards because we’re fresher.

 

Less Pressure, Less Stress, More Patience? The second word of Chapter 3, verse 1, of the Book of Ecclesiastes verse is only one letter long but is really important: “There’s a time for every purpose under heaven.” A time implies that, even if the proposed activity serves a great cause, this isn’t necessarily the time. The indefinite article “a” means the time may be tomorrow or next year! The verse doesn’t say “Now’s the time!” I’m more patient with myself (and less stressed) when I know my good idea or worthwhile task can wait until another time!

 

So how do we figure out whether this time is the time for a particular use of your time and energy? An amazing ad’s been running for some time about a fantastic radio station that gives the best advice time management advice ever. You’re invited to call in your questions or just tune in and hear advice given to others like you. I came across the ad yesterday and here’s what it says:

 

[su_box title=”TUNE IN & TUNE UP YOUR TIME ” style=”glass” box_color=”#47142D”]Retro Radio

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WSDM, the Voice of Wisdom call-in talk show, is broadcasting worldwide, 24/7, with great advice from an all-knowing and eminently qualified host. He wants YOU to call or tune in — first, because you’re the station’s ideal target audience, and second, because the host’s awesome advice will answer questions about time (or anything else) wisely. Whether you’re a first time caller or a regular, you’re encouraged to present questions daily! You have ready access to someone who’s in touch with your reality. He’s been through weakness and testing—he experienced it all and he overcame every obstacle.

WSDM PROMISES, if you live the way the host advises, you’ll get these free gifts:

  • Dog DJ Depositphotos_1780607_xsaffection
  • exuberance
  • serenity, and
  • the remarkable ability to marshal and direct your energies wisely.

The host will also advise you not to allow yourself to get fatigued doing good. He’ll let you know when it’s the right time to work for everyone’s benefit. In fact, if you trust him, WSDM promises you endless energy and boundless strength! So just call in and get what our host is ready to give. Accept his help![/su_box]

 

You may recognize where that ad’s been running for centuries: Galatians 5:22-23 and 6:9-10 and Hebrews 4:16 (The Message).

 

I submit that God/Wisdom/Spirit/the Still Small Voice Within (take your pick) can guide us as to whether now’s the time or not, as well as whether the proposed activity is a “purpose under heaven,” and whether it’s one assigned to us. After all, that voice of Wisdom knows that we need downtime as well as “productive” time (i.e., time spent with an end product to show for it). The voice of Wisdom also knows if the particular task is something that is best done at all, and if so, who’s best suited to do it.

 

But discerning might take me more time that just doing it, you say? Not necessarily!

 

Here are three things you might try to help you tune into WSDM, plus a quick time-related challenge for the week.

 

  1. Set aside Morning Quiet Time. Try reading The Message version of the Bible, which is in a vernacular that’s really down to earth. Think of what you read as God’s opening of a conversation with you. To continue the dialogue, journal your questions or comments to God in equally down to earth words. Then be still, with an open mind and a pen in hand, and take notes from what you hear the voice of Wisdom prompting you to write. (This week, I’ve been enjoying one chapter a day from Galatians and Ephesians. You can quickly find them in The Message version on www.BibleGateway.com.)
  2. Mentally turn on WSDM’s Talk Show whenever you feel stuck. Imagine you’re going to call in and you want to frame your question well by becoming aware of what you need to find out, what you’re bothered about, or what decision needs to be made. In other words, identify specifics rather than fiddling around in generalized anxiety, confusion, overwhelm, procrastination, or repetitive negative thinking. You might explore this by asking:
    1. Where in your body do you feel stuck?
    2. What 3 words best describe how you feel about this issue?
    3. When or where do you feel stuck?
    4. Have you felt stuck like this before?
    5. If so, how’d you get beyond it?

Now try to narrow down your question(s) and present them to the host. You could do this by writing the question, reading it before bed, and sleeping with it under your pillow for a few nights in a row. In the morning, write down any responses you wake up with.

  1. Seek the advice of a trusted and godly advisor, as suggested in The Book of Proverbs. (I’d tell you exactly where but I just used the 80-20 Rule!)

 

Here’s a challenge for those who often struggle with feeling pressed for time. This week play with the concept that there’s a time for every purpose under heaven. Repeat that statement to yourself whenever your self-talk implies a lack of time.

 

Be gentle with yourself, too. If all this seems difficult, just give one idea in this post a 5-minute try a few times in the week and see if you feel even 5% more peaceful about time issues and divine guidance. Or you could even just spend 30 seconds pretending you believe that there’s a time for every purpose under heaven!

 

It’s the beginning of Lent, the 40 days leading up to Easter. Just maybe you’re being called to pick one of these ideas to try for the remaining 39 days.

 

Whom Do Your Priorities Honor?

Whom Do Your Priorities Honor?

“Many of us are afraid to set priorities that honor self. We worry and fear that we will disappoint others by putting our priorities over theirs. To the best of your ability, stay true to your own priorities, and leave it to others to respect you for doing so.” I read this on www.quiltedonline.com/to-do, shortly after realizing that I set my priorities all wrong today.

I drove 3 hours to get from Sea Ranch to San Francisco for what was going to be a 2:00 – 2:30 meeting with our cabinet installer and cabinet designer, because the designer’s priorities were other meetings with other clients as well as commitments in her personal life . . . and because she’s never been available to meet with me at my convenience. Early last week, she’d offered this two o’clock Friday time slot as her only available time over a two-week period.

DSC00772 (3 of 12)To make it to the meeting on time, I called my latte “breakfast,” had to skip a quilt guild meeting, and drove the winding coastal highway assertively, with no rest stop, and no lunch. When I arrived, it turns out she’d gotten there early, inspected the damaged cabinets, and left already. And via email afterwards, she said she didn’t even accomplish what she’d gone there for because it “wasn’t the best day for it.”

I was angry at her, and felt very disrespected. But there’s a lesson here for me!

I wasn’t being true to myself to even TRY to go to all that effort for a half-hour meeting. When I’d prayed this morning about whether to drive down to the meeting, I received some guidance that suggested I not go, but it wasn’t crystal clear. I decided to go—out of perceived obligation and fear that without my input, mistakes wouldn’t be rectified. Not good motivation — and I knew that! Next time, I’ll spend another few minutes listening, and heed what I hear! Then my priorities will honor my true self, as guided by Spirit and my heart.

I’ve also focused this week on the verse saying that there’s a time for every purpose under heaven (Ecclesiastes 3:1). Apparently, today wasn’t the time for the particular purpose which my decision honored, regardless whether that meeting to resolve the cabinet problem was actually a purpose sanctioned by heaven!

Please feel free to share any comments!

Darkness and Light

Darkness and Light

© depositphotos.com/steveb,used under license to Reap As You Sew

© depositphotos.com/steveball, licensed by Reap As You Sew

The first time I heard the 1955 song, “Let There Be Peace on Earth” (written by Sy Miller and Jill Jackson) was in1990 during the Persian Gulf War, when the US and other countries launched Operation Desert Storm after Iraq invaded Kuwait. I’m not a good student of history, military operations, or MidEast politics, but I do remember how I felt with the notion of peace on earth beginning with each of us as individuals. I liked the idea because it took away some of the helplessness of being a citizen of a nation at war . . . or planning war . . . or debating decisions that affect war and peace. And here we are again, perhaps feeling helpless, or angry, or some other intense emotions because of what’s happening in the world or could happen soon.

How we deal with these emotions involves mind, heart, and spirit. When that’s our experience, I submit it’s a time to notice that a spiritual battle is also waging and to embrace healing and soulful creativity.

In creativity, we have the opportunity for mind, heart and spirit to coalesce, to heal and center us by employing varied elements, expression, and processes that often take us to meaningfully depths. Visual art, the performance art of movement, music, tactile arts using ceramics or textiles, music, poetry—follow your own artistic inclinations as we make the Labor Day transition to the Fall, setting aside some time, even just a few minutes now and then, allowing your creativity to rise, to heal, to produce joy, to mourn, to express, led by your mind, your heart, and your spirit, and if you allow it, by the Spirit of God. On Labor Day and after, I will do that!

Starting tomorrow, I’ll be attending the 43rd annual Southern California Renewal Communities Convention at the Anaheim Convention Center with my spiritual brothers and sisters. We’ll spend four days pursuing a ministry track called UNBOUND. Scripturally-based, UNBOUND’s mission is to love each person as God loves us and to serve God as instruments to set God’s people free in Jesus’s name. UNBOUND disciples of Christ are waging a spiritual battle, and I believe it is just as important, if not more important, than what’s happening in the MidEast. Darkness and evil are the oppressors; and I pray for Light (which has already won the victory on the cross) to shine forth. As for letting peace begin with me, I pray that I may be a channel of God’s peace and a sign of God’s love. Let peace begin with me in my heart, and with you in your heart, and in all of our hearts together.  Are you with me? Amen!

P.S. By the way, this year’s convention theme is “You are the Light of the World.” I only noticed that after I wrote this!

Note: This was originally written for my Heart-to-Heart.net blog but I posted it here “accidentally” and then decided to leave it. Sorry for the duplication if you subscribe to both.